Last night I watched the first episode of Law and Order SVU for 2007. Now, I'm not a big television watcher; there are really only one or two programs that I enjoy, but up until now SVU has been one of them.
I enjoyed watching one of my favourite characters Stabler, grapple with the moral dilemma of a case that didn't have a definite right or wrong. Although this episode wasn't a particularly gruesome one, the program is still about catching sex offenders and protecting the victims of heinous crimes.
It's easy to believe that this is harmless entertainment, but last night I had a really unpleasant dream that continued the plot of the episode - it wasn't a nightmare, but it was bad enough for me to wake up feeling relieved that my dream was over.
The really interesting thing was that the same thing happened last year! Except last year, after watching the first episode for the year, I had a full blown nightmare... and I woke up terrified. That experience was enough to shift me from a regular to an occasional viewer, but not enough to put me off the show entirely. Now... I QUIT!
It's important to pay attention to all sources of positive and negative energy in your life, not just the obvious ones. What was masking as an innocent form of evening relaxation was obviously having a toxic effect on my subconscious, and one that my poor mind needed to continue to work through while I slept in order to process its full impact.
So goodbye Benson, ciao Stabler...
I'm now back to enjoying just one solitary program - Grey's Anatomy... Hurry up and return to my screen Dr McDreamy!
Friday, 9 February 2007
Thursday, 8 February 2007
Stop talking and start listening!
I was at a Thought Leaders workshop today where we did an exercise, that I found particularly powerful.
Working in a group of 6 - 8 we each had the opportunity to present a challenge while the other members of the group shared experiences they had in managing or overcoming similar challenges. The catch was, that when you were the challengee (listening to other's experiences) after you had presented your challenge, you were not allowed to speak... at all!
Instead of listening to other suggestions and immediately dismissing them, explaining why they wouldn't work for you or saying, '...but my situation is different.' You had to just sit there and be open to the ideas that were being exchanged.
The practice of 'open listening' was incredibly powerful and most people commented that by listening in this way, they were able to identify countless solutions to their challenges that they might otherwise have dismissed at first glance.
Challenge yourself to listen 'openly' more often. Even if it's not appropriate for you not to respond at all, waiting as little as three seconds before responding can open your mind to myriad possibilities!
Working in a group of 6 - 8 we each had the opportunity to present a challenge while the other members of the group shared experiences they had in managing or overcoming similar challenges. The catch was, that when you were the challengee (listening to other's experiences) after you had presented your challenge, you were not allowed to speak... at all!
Instead of listening to other suggestions and immediately dismissing them, explaining why they wouldn't work for you or saying, '...but my situation is different.' You had to just sit there and be open to the ideas that were being exchanged.
The practice of 'open listening' was incredibly powerful and most people commented that by listening in this way, they were able to identify countless solutions to their challenges that they might otherwise have dismissed at first glance.
Challenge yourself to listen 'openly' more often. Even if it's not appropriate for you not to respond at all, waiting as little as three seconds before responding can open your mind to myriad possibilities!
Wednesday, 7 February 2007
Lift me up!
Today was one of those days...
Yes! Even success coaches have days when nothing seems to go according to plan. Today my frustrations were caused by technical issues, and by about 2pm there was a lot of steam coming out of my ears.
Just as I was contemplating throwing my computer out the window (not a good strategy - I live on the eighth floor!) I was rescued with a text message from my good friend, self awareness guru Tamy Starr, suggesting a coffee and a catch up.
Tamy's message couldn't have come at a better time and got me thinking about the impact other people have on our lives; we all know people who enhance and enrich our lives and people whose very presence drains and exhausts us...
A chocolate milkshake and an hour of conversation with Tamy later, I was feeling great. I couldn't even remember why I had been so frustrated in the first place - after all, it's was just a silly computer!
Take a moment to think about the people in your life. Are you clear about who has an positive, energising effect and who is negative and draining? Although you might not be able to avoid the negative ones 100% of the time, make a point of spending plenty of time time with people who are inspiring, uplifting and encouraging - you'll feel a whole lot better for it!
Yes! Even success coaches have days when nothing seems to go according to plan. Today my frustrations were caused by technical issues, and by about 2pm there was a lot of steam coming out of my ears.
Just as I was contemplating throwing my computer out the window (not a good strategy - I live on the eighth floor!) I was rescued with a text message from my good friend, self awareness guru Tamy Starr, suggesting a coffee and a catch up.
Tamy's message couldn't have come at a better time and got me thinking about the impact other people have on our lives; we all know people who enhance and enrich our lives and people whose very presence drains and exhausts us...
A chocolate milkshake and an hour of conversation with Tamy later, I was feeling great. I couldn't even remember why I had been so frustrated in the first place - after all, it's was just a silly computer!
Take a moment to think about the people in your life. Are you clear about who has an positive, energising effect and who is negative and draining? Although you might not be able to avoid the negative ones 100% of the time, make a point of spending plenty of time time with people who are inspiring, uplifting and encouraging - you'll feel a whole lot better for it!
Tuesday, 6 February 2007
How bold is your vision?
I was having a great conversation today with one of my favourite people Matt Church, founder and CEO of Thought Leaders about BIG, BOLD visions for the future.
So often people limit themselves to only thinking about the future in terms of what is realistic. But who gets to decide what is and isn't realistic? So many times in my life, people have told me that an idea I had wasn't realistic, and I'm so glad I didn't listen.
I firmly believe that we each have the opportunity to create our own reality. Work out what you want your life to look like and go out and make it happen. It might not always be easy and the results may not come instantly, but the only thing genuinely holding you back is your ability to dream and then your belief in your right to pursue those dreams.
The vision I hold for my future is big, bold and brilliant - what does your future look like?
So often people limit themselves to only thinking about the future in terms of what is realistic. But who gets to decide what is and isn't realistic? So many times in my life, people have told me that an idea I had wasn't realistic, and I'm so glad I didn't listen.
I firmly believe that we each have the opportunity to create our own reality. Work out what you want your life to look like and go out and make it happen. It might not always be easy and the results may not come instantly, but the only thing genuinely holding you back is your ability to dream and then your belief in your right to pursue those dreams.
The vision I hold for my future is big, bold and brilliant - what does your future look like?
Monday, 5 February 2007
Give me the chance to shine!
A hot topic last week was micro-management.
The biggest problem with a control-freak or micro manager, isn't that they are wasting an enormous amount of time and energy and driving the people around them mad - although these are obviously serious problems.
No, the biggest problem a micro-manager creates is that they remove the opportunity to impress; by constantly watching over people's shoulder and continually putting in their own 10 cents (or is that 10 dollars) worth, they never give people the change to shine in their own right.
It's so important to allow your employees the chance to demonstrate their brilliance! Of course you will need to give them some key parameters within which to be brilliant, but allow them to join their own dots and bring their own talents to the party.
If you genuinely don't trust the people working for you, find new ones. But if deep down you know you have the right people for the job, delegate a task, and the responsibility for that task and then LET THEM GET ON WITH IT!
The biggest problem with a control-freak or micro manager, isn't that they are wasting an enormous amount of time and energy and driving the people around them mad - although these are obviously serious problems.
No, the biggest problem a micro-manager creates is that they remove the opportunity to impress; by constantly watching over people's shoulder and continually putting in their own 10 cents (or is that 10 dollars) worth, they never give people the change to shine in their own right.
It's so important to allow your employees the chance to demonstrate their brilliance! Of course you will need to give them some key parameters within which to be brilliant, but allow them to join their own dots and bring their own talents to the party.
If you genuinely don't trust the people working for you, find new ones. But if deep down you know you have the right people for the job, delegate a task, and the responsibility for that task and then LET THEM GET ON WITH IT!
Friday, 2 February 2007
The name's Bond, James Bond
One of my favourite new films is the new Jame's Bond film.
I have to confess, I wasn't too keen when I first heard that they had given they lead to Daniel Craig. It wasn't that I didn't like Daniel, it was just that I so LOVED Pierce Brosnan... back when he was playing the lead in Remington Steele, I knew he'd make the perfect James Bond.
Anyway, I went to see the film, and I liked it so much I bought the company! Well no, I didn't by MI6, but I did go back and see it again the following week.
One of the things I really liked about this interpretation of James Bond was that the character was more real - he laughed, he bled, he had his heart broken and suffered for it... But it didn't stop him from getting the bad guys, and being the hero of the day.
Many people think, that to be the hero of their own life, they need each and every day to be perfect. No pain, no suffering, no problems, mistakes or screw ups. But is that really an achievable aspiration? Far better to allow yourself to real.
Experience all that life sends your way, but then take the lead from James Bond - dust your self off and be a hero regardless!
I have to confess, I wasn't too keen when I first heard that they had given they lead to Daniel Craig. It wasn't that I didn't like Daniel, it was just that I so LOVED Pierce Brosnan... back when he was playing the lead in Remington Steele, I knew he'd make the perfect James Bond.
Anyway, I went to see the film, and I liked it so much I bought the company! Well no, I didn't by MI6, but I did go back and see it again the following week.
One of the things I really liked about this interpretation of James Bond was that the character was more real - he laughed, he bled, he had his heart broken and suffered for it... But it didn't stop him from getting the bad guys, and being the hero of the day.
Many people think, that to be the hero of their own life, they need each and every day to be perfect. No pain, no suffering, no problems, mistakes or screw ups. But is that really an achievable aspiration? Far better to allow yourself to real.
Experience all that life sends your way, but then take the lead from James Bond - dust your self off and be a hero regardless!
Thursday, 1 February 2007
Not without an invitation!
Do you ever feel that someone is trying to intimidate you? I was talking with one of my favourite clients this week and this very topic came up.
Intimidate means to 'make timid' but can someone intimidate you without your permission?
I certainly believe that people can behave in an unpleasant way by trying to make themselves appear more important / valued / significant / better [and a variety of other tactics] but that no one can intimidate you if you are not willing to be intimidated.
Next time your feel like someone is trying to intimidate you stop and examine the situation more clearly. Are you holding steady in your own power, maintaining your confidence and belief in yourself, or are you giving that all away - accepting their invitation to become timid?
Intimidate means to 'make timid' but can someone intimidate you without your permission?
I certainly believe that people can behave in an unpleasant way by trying to make themselves appear more important / valued / significant / better [and a variety of other tactics] but that no one can intimidate you if you are not willing to be intimidated.
Next time your feel like someone is trying to intimidate you stop and examine the situation more clearly. Are you holding steady in your own power, maintaining your confidence and belief in yourself, or are you giving that all away - accepting their invitation to become timid?
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