A good friend was telling me about a recent course she had attended - an advanced therapeutic Pilates course.
As a physiotherapist, she had expected the course to about bio-mechanics and treatment strategies, but instead the instructor had focused on the somewhat 'alternative' diagnostic skills of incisive questioning and active listening.
My friend explained that this was the exact opposite of her undergraduate training which had recommended the asking of closed questions with the intention of eliciting quick yes / no answers and moving quickly on to treatment.
The powerful combination of incisive questioning and active listening is what I call taking a 'Coach Approach' At Success Strategies, we teach courses in the 'Coach Approach' for managers, consultants and recruiters, but the 'Coach Approach' can be applied so many other interactions, from health care and education, to relationships and parenting.
To start taking a 'Coach Approach' ask yourself these two key questions:
"Am I asking good quality, open ended questions?" and "Do I spend more time listening than talking?"
Monday, 26 February 2007
Thursday, 22 February 2007
What Are You Wishing For?
We've all heard the expression, 'be careful what you wish for', but how aware are you of your wishes?
I had an experience this week that served as a great reminder of the power of our thoughts.
As you may already know I have appeared on Channel 7 Sunrise on a number of occasions. Yesterday as I was walking past the Sunrise studio on my way home from work, I was thinking about the last time I had been a guest on the program.
My internal dialogue went something like this:
"When was the last time I was on Sunrise? It must be about six months ago... I must give them a call tomorrow and have a chat with the producer.... I'd really like to be on Sunrise again sometime soon..."
This morning, before I had the chance to follow up on my intention, I received received a call from Sunrise, inviting me to be guest on the program tomorrow!
What a great example of the POWER OF INTENTION.
So what internal conversations are you having?
If you are engaged in negative self talk, then these are the intentions you are communicating, to both to your subconscious and to the universe...
Remember, your intentions have the power to work both for you and against, so be careful what you wish for!
I had an experience this week that served as a great reminder of the power of our thoughts.
As you may already know I have appeared on Channel 7 Sunrise on a number of occasions. Yesterday as I was walking past the Sunrise studio on my way home from work, I was thinking about the last time I had been a guest on the program.
My internal dialogue went something like this:
"When was the last time I was on Sunrise? It must be about six months ago... I must give them a call tomorrow and have a chat with the producer.... I'd really like to be on Sunrise again sometime soon..."
This morning, before I had the chance to follow up on my intention, I received received a call from Sunrise, inviting me to be guest on the program tomorrow!
What a great example of the POWER OF INTENTION.
So what internal conversations are you having?
If you are engaged in negative self talk, then these are the intentions you are communicating, to both to your subconscious and to the universe...
Remember, your intentions have the power to work both for you and against, so be careful what you wish for!
Wednesday, 21 February 2007
Make Your Dreams a Reality!
I received the most wonderful update from a client today.
About six months months ago, my client began to define the most audacious goals of his life and career so far.
During our weekly personal coaching sessions we began to develop a clear plan for achieving these goals. We also identified several limiting beliefs, and behaviours that were currently getting in the way of his success, and developed powerful affirmations and new habits to support him in his quest.
As he talked me through his list of wonderful recent achievements, I could see that his future was unfolding just the way that he had planned. Of course the last six months hadn't been without their hiccups and lessons that had needed to be learned, but overall he was really making amazing progress towards his goals.
You too can make amazing progress in your life if you follow the same basic principles:
About six months months ago, my client began to define the most audacious goals of his life and career so far.
During our weekly personal coaching sessions we began to develop a clear plan for achieving these goals. We also identified several limiting beliefs, and behaviours that were currently getting in the way of his success, and developed powerful affirmations and new habits to support him in his quest.
As he talked me through his list of wonderful recent achievements, I could see that his future was unfolding just the way that he had planned. Of course the last six months hadn't been without their hiccups and lessons that had needed to be learned, but overall he was really making amazing progress towards his goals.
You too can make amazing progress in your life if you follow the same basic principles:
- Take the time to clearly define your goal - be as bold as you dare to be,
- Identify and overcome any limiting beliefs or behaviours that may hold you back or get in your way,
- Develop the commitment and staying power needed to achieve your goals
Remember it may not happen over night, but if really believe in your goals and you combine that belief with effort and enthusiasm, your dreams will become your reality!
Tuesday, 20 February 2007
Get in the Driver's Seat
Do you ever set a goal, break it down into all the actions needed to achieve it and then still make no progress towards the goal?
Today, one of my clients was showing me a very impressive action list she had created for one of her goals. The problem was, it was a list both she and I had seen before. In fact one of the reasons she had come to coaching was to finally beginning moving through these actions towards the achievement of her goal.
Now I need to add, that this particular client is a highly motivated, highly successful business woman, so it wasn't as if the achievement of goals was new to her - not at all! It was just that she just couldn't seem to 'make herself' move forward on this one particular goal.
I got my client to stop thinking about how to achieve her goal, and instead to think about how she would think and feel about achieving her goal. By probing in this way, we were able to uncover her true motivators for achieving her goals, as opposed to the coulds, woulds and shoulds, which are never very inspiring at all.
If you find yourself stuck and unable to make progress on one of your goals, ask yourself the following three questions and uncover your real drivers:
How will I feel when I achieve my goal
What will I think when I achieve my goal
What would I say about someone else, if I knew they had achieved this goal
Use your answers to these three questions to create exciting, inspiring and motivating goals that you can't wait to achieve!
Today, one of my clients was showing me a very impressive action list she had created for one of her goals. The problem was, it was a list both she and I had seen before. In fact one of the reasons she had come to coaching was to finally beginning moving through these actions towards the achievement of her goal.
Now I need to add, that this particular client is a highly motivated, highly successful business woman, so it wasn't as if the achievement of goals was new to her - not at all! It was just that she just couldn't seem to 'make herself' move forward on this one particular goal.
I got my client to stop thinking about how to achieve her goal, and instead to think about how she would think and feel about achieving her goal. By probing in this way, we were able to uncover her true motivators for achieving her goals, as opposed to the coulds, woulds and shoulds, which are never very inspiring at all.
If you find yourself stuck and unable to make progress on one of your goals, ask yourself the following three questions and uncover your real drivers:
How will I feel when I achieve my goal
What will I think when I achieve my goal
What would I say about someone else, if I knew they had achieved this goal
Use your answers to these three questions to create exciting, inspiring and motivating goals that you can't wait to achieve!
Monday, 19 February 2007
What do you deserve?
All of my conversations today centred around the recognition that we all deserve to live the best possible life, and the various limits that prevent people from allowing this potential to become their reality.
If you are finding it hard to make the changes you want to make in the way you life your life, take a moment to reflect on the choices you are currently making; ensure that there are no outdated limiting ideas, beliefs or behaviours getting in your way.
So often the hardest part of the journey is the realisation - once you know, deep in your heart, that you ready do deserve to live Your Best Life the obstacles you previously perceived become mere pebbles on your path.
If you are finding it hard to make the changes you want to make in the way you life your life, take a moment to reflect on the choices you are currently making; ensure that there are no outdated limiting ideas, beliefs or behaviours getting in your way.
So often the hardest part of the journey is the realisation - once you know, deep in your heart, that you ready do deserve to live Your Best Life the obstacles you previously perceived become mere pebbles on your path.
Thursday, 15 February 2007
The Best Medicine
Today a friend told me a story about something very embarrassing that had happened to her earlier. By the time we spoke she had gotten over the initial shock and humiliation, and had decided that the only appropriate course of action was to laugh it off... and laugh we did!
By the end of our conversation I had tears streaming down my face and stomach muscles that hurt from being subjected to such intense belly laughter.
Now I can't possibly share her story, but I will share the lesson:
Most people take the happenings in their life all too seriously. They act as if they are saving the lives of small children or negotiating world peace! My friend had every right to be upset about her experience, but she chose not to be - she chose to simply accept that the experience had occured and then look for the lighter side.
By then deciding to share her 'pain' and invite me to join in her laughter, not only did she diffuse any remaining negative energy attached to the situation, she got to have a laugh about some of my more embarrassing moments too!
By the end of our conversation I had tears streaming down my face and stomach muscles that hurt from being subjected to such intense belly laughter.
Now I can't possibly share her story, but I will share the lesson:
Most people take the happenings in their life all too seriously. They act as if they are saving the lives of small children or negotiating world peace! My friend had every right to be upset about her experience, but she chose not to be - she chose to simply accept that the experience had occured and then look for the lighter side.
By then deciding to share her 'pain' and invite me to join in her laughter, not only did she diffuse any remaining negative energy attached to the situation, she got to have a laugh about some of my more embarrassing moments too!
Wednesday, 14 February 2007
An affair to remember
It's very hard not to notice that today is Valentine's Day. I popped out for my sneaky chocolate break at 4pm and the line at the chocolate shop was around the block!
I'm not so keen on the messages and behaviours a lot of people adopt on Valentine's Day. For many couples, today is one of the only days in which each party treats the other as someone special. For many singles, Valentine's Day has become an excuse to beat themselves up for not being with that someone special.
Why not use today to reflect on the most important relationship you will ever have - the one you have with yourself. How often do you treat yourself kindly, acknowledge your special qualities or buy yourself a special something? Do you know what a great catch you are; romantically, platonically and professionally? How clear are you on all the reasons why you are fortunate simply to be you and how lucky others are to have you in their lives...
Regardless of whether or not you are in a romantic relationship, don't let Valentine's Day go to waste... use today to begin or reignite your most important relationship of all.
I'm not so keen on the messages and behaviours a lot of people adopt on Valentine's Day. For many couples, today is one of the only days in which each party treats the other as someone special. For many singles, Valentine's Day has become an excuse to beat themselves up for not being with that someone special.
Why not use today to reflect on the most important relationship you will ever have - the one you have with yourself. How often do you treat yourself kindly, acknowledge your special qualities or buy yourself a special something? Do you know what a great catch you are; romantically, platonically and professionally? How clear are you on all the reasons why you are fortunate simply to be you and how lucky others are to have you in their lives...
Regardless of whether or not you are in a romantic relationship, don't let Valentine's Day go to waste... use today to begin or reignite your most important relationship of all.
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