The Happiness Code: A sneak preview!

I'm currently working on my new book - The Happiness Code.

Here is a sneak preview...

Have you ever wondered why some people are really, genuinely happy yet others experience a near constant state of stress, frustration or disappointment? Why does happiness come so easily to some people? And how can you make sure it comes easily to you?

If you strive to be the best you can be, not only will The Happiness Code be an exciting and inspiring discovery, it will be a relief. By encouraging you to stop trying to be perfect and instead incorporate its ten guiding principles into your life, you will finally discover the secret to lasting happiness.

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As a success coach, I have had the chance to examine the thoughts and feelings of hundreds of people. I have found that many people are so focused on changing themselves that they lose themselves in the process. Although their initial desire may have been for self-improvement, too often they use their new education and discoveries as fresh material with which to engage in critical perfectionist behaviour, leading to frustration and anxiety, an erosion of self-belief, and ultimately a lack of enjoyment and fulfilment from everyday life.

When I share this observation, all too often the response I receive is, “I’m just trying to be the best that I can be”.

But what does being the best you can be really mean?

At last there is an answer...

The 10 Happiness Code: 10 Guiding Principles

1. Take charge: the principle of choice
2. Give up control: the principle of influence
3. Live for now: the principle of presence
4. Expect the best: the principal of optimism
5. Back yourself: the principle of belief
6. Get out of the way: the principle of permission
7. Be grateful: the principle of abundance
8. Give all you can: the principle of generosity
9. Keep it up: the principle of commitment
10. Be brave: the principle of courage

Each month I will be expand on one of the guiding principles in this blog, so you too can begin to unlock the secret of lasting happiness in your life.

I can't believe Christmas is only four weeks away... where has this year gone?!?

Unfortunately for so many people Christmas becomes a time of relentless pressure.

This Christmas, why don't you practice saying no - Say no to the people who insist on 'catching up before christmas' even though you haven't heard from them all year, say no to the social engagements that you really don't want to attend and say no the endless bombardment of media messages about who many presents you should buy and how big that christmas dinner should be... Instead connect with your core values and plan a Christmas celebration that honours those.

Want more tips on saying no - check out last weeks Love Your Lifehttp://eepurl.com/e2HQ

LifeCoachLive - 01: Discovering your dreams

Click on the image below to play the first episode of LifeCoachLive: Discovering your dreams

November Newsletter

Click on the image below to listen to my November Newsletter

What I learned today…. In conversation with Michelle Bowden

My guest today, on Real Women Real Success was Michelle Bowden, the author of DON’T PICTURE ME NAKED – how to present your ideas and influence people using techniques that actually work and one of the most vibrant and energetic people I know.

You can listen to the show here or subscribe to the podcast in the iTunes store

Here are some highlights from our conversation that rang particularly true for me:

• Success is hard work – and it’s not instant! *
• Believe you are a lucky person and luck will come your way
• Exist in a state of gratitude – always recognise how fortunate you are and how much you really have
• There are always going to be compromises and you won’t always enjoy them, but you need to be present to what you are doing right now
• Outsource and get as much support into your life as possible so you can spend your time doing the things you love

Michelle also shared two top tips for beating your nerves when presenting to an audience:

1. Remember it’s about them, not you. Your audience isn’t there to criticise you, they’re there to learn from you, so stop worrying about you and focus your energy on how you can be of service to them
2. Nervousness and excitement create the same physical experience within the body, you just change the language you use to articulate these experiences depending on your circumstances. Next time you think you feel nervous about speaking in public, reframe this experience by changing your language; you are simply feeling ‘funny tummy’ because you’re excited!

Michelle has been the Director of her own thriving business, that offers in-house and public training programs to help people present and influence at work, for the past 10 years. She coaches Australian executives for upcoming important presentations and is a conference speaker herself.

As well as all of that she’s also a very busy wife and mother of three little girls: Holly, Maddie and Annabelle.

You can find out more about Michelle and buy her book, atwww.michellebowden.com.au

* Michelle talked about spending 10 years building a thriving business, 10 years developing her skills as a speaker and a trainer, 10 years creating the wealth of knowledge that went into her book and 10 years earning her CSP qualification, the highest recognition for a professional speaker in the world. I thought it was also interesting that Michelle found 10 years to be her magic number. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers, he talks about 10 years or 10,000 hours as being the required effort for mastery and Michelle success is a testament to what you can achieve with continued effort.

Reader's Question: Young at heart!

I would like to ask you how you deal with “ageing”. I am now 59 and often feel that my age is a hindrance to obtaining a new job in today’s market. Christine

This is a really good question and it is a sad truth that some people still make snap judgements based on surface factors such as age, gender, race etc. The good news for you, is that the criticisms that have been levelled at Gen Y recently, have highlighted the value Gen X and Baby Boomers still bring to the workplace. Of course Gen Ys are valuable too - we all have different attributes and the important thing to focus on are yours.

Make sure your age doesn't get in your way at work by:

• Remembering your true age is not chronological, it's mental, emotional, physical and spiritual; maintain a youthful mind and spirit, an open heart and a fit and healthy body.

• Ensuring your presentation is contemporary. This doesn't mean that you have to wear the latest trends or dress like a teenager, but make sure your look is fresh and modern, not tired and dowdy. Check out my favourite stylist Elena Reed at Evolutzia Elena offers great advice interpreting the current fashion trends for everyday life.

• Paying attention to popular culture; film, music, television, online etc. so you actively participate in conversations with people of all ages in your work environment. I always say a sure sign you are getting old is when you don't recognise any of the music on the top 40 anymore!

• Most importantly believing in yourself and what you have to offer. At your stage in life, you have garnered a wealth of experience and the right employer would be mad not to want to capitalise on this!

Reader's Question: Dreams or Fantasies

Hi Domonique, Can you please tell me a little bit more about the difference between dreams and fantasies. Thanks! Helena

Hi Helena, the difference between dreams and fantasies is something I talk about in my book, Your Best Life.

The way I differentiate is a fantasy is something you enjoy thinking about, but for a whole range of reasons are unlikely to do anything/enough towards making it your reality.

Dreams on the other hand are things your really would like to bring into your life, and are willing to put in the time, effort and other resources towards making them your reality.
For example, in my fantasy life, I am a size ten, but it's very unlikely that I will ever go on the starvation plan required to make this a reality in my life. (I'm 5'10"!)

My dream on the other hand is to host my own television program showing people how to create their own best life. This is something I have been working towards, consistently for several years

The easiest test to distinguishing between dreams and fantasies is to ask yourself "what are you willing to do to make this a reality in your life?"